


a history of touches

by kenhinasuga



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkwardness, Confessions, First Crush, First Kiss, Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, Short & Sweet, Story in Snippets, Touching, Trust, Winter, but like innocent touching, i just love kagesuga sm, idk i just wanted this to be very innocent and sweet?, koushi is the patient mvp, tobio is a good bean and he tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26584837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenhinasuga/pseuds/kenhinasuga
Summary: A history of (mostly) Koushi touching Tobio as they build trust and fall in love.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 22
Kudos: 196





	a history of touches

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo :))))
> 
> this is my first time writing for the hq fandom so i'm really nervous but kagesuga decided to dig their claws into me and have been refusing to let go so i just really wanted to write Something
> 
> this is third person but focused on tobio so i tried to show the way he grows closer to koushi by changing his name throughout (from sugawara to suga to koushi) i hope it doesn't read awkward but gets across what i'm trying to portray

Tobio’s palm is still throbbing slightly from the spike and he curls his fingers with a small smile. The ball came at the perfect height with the perfect speed — as textbook as expected from Sugawara-san, but finally, _perfectly_ tailored to him. His stomach flips a little and he turns to Sugawara. There’s a trace of a smile pulling at the corners of his lips and Tobio knows exactly what he’s thinking, _feeling_. The thrill of a perfect set never gets old, never ceases to make you crave for another, but, more than that, the knowledge of having set the ball in the perfect spot for your hitter — a strangely serene sense of power.

Tobio nods at Sugawara and says the only thing that seems appropriate, “One more, Sugawara-san.” Sugawara’s lips stretch into a wide smile, showing his teeth, and Tobio’s stomach does another flip — definitely still related to the perfect set and nothing else. Sugawara makes smiling look so easy. It’s different from Hinata’s smile — so aggressively happy and excited it blinds you — but it’s by no means weaker, just _different_. Sugawara shakes his head with a laugh. “Your compliments still need work, Kageyama,” he teases and holds up his hands. Tobio blinks at him for a moment before catching on and taps his hands against Sugawara’s just hard enough to count as a high-five. Sugawara shakes his head again, but turns around to get another ball without further complaints.

Tobio backs away from the net and looks at his hands. He should've given him more — a Tanaka-san-style high five that leaves their palms throbbing. He wonders how it would compare to the sting after a perfect spike. Sugawara is far from fragile, but somehow Tobio can't stop holding back. _Next time_ , he tells himself, _next time I earn a Sugawara-san high five, I'll make the most of it_. Tobio flexes his fingers and nods at Sugawara to go again.

"You're a monster, Kageyama," Sugawara pants at him with a brilliant smile. Tobio knows it's a compliment by now and the fire in Sugawara's eyes accompanied by his smile leave no doubt about just how high he's being praised. The urge to look away is overwhelming. He's never had trouble meeting Hinata's eyes when he looks at him like this — not quite _like this_ though — but he's having trouble holding Sugawara's gaze. Tobio is grateful when someone offers him a towel, allowing him to look away, and he wipes his face slowly.

"Nice kill earlier," he says into the towel, muffling his own voice. "What was that?" Tobio lowers the towel, patting at his neck, and peaks at Sugawara through his sweaty bangs. He's smiling even more brilliantly than before and Tobio focuses on the mole below his eye. "Nice kill," he repeats. Sugawara laughs and does a little victory jump, slapping his back right as he lands. He's closer now and Tobio feels his hand linger on his back — or maybe it's the echo of the slap.

Sugawara's smile changes. It turns smaller somehow, but not less impactful and Tobio can't figure out what it means until he speaks. "Thanks for entrusting the ball to me at such a critical point." His voice is low — _earnest_ — and still slightly breathy from having played a whole set with them for the first time in forever. Sweat rolls down Tobio's spine and it's all he can do not to shiver. He opens his mouth to state what seems rather obvious to him — _of course_ — but they're interrupted, drawn into their team's excited whirlwind of practice game victory.

Tobio watches Sugawara as he greets everyone. He seems so effortless in the way he interacts with the team — with _people_ in general. They don't just respect him, they _trust_ him and Tobio's been working on building at least some level of that trust himself. It's easy with Hinata and his blind faith that the ball will come to him, and he knows everyone else trusts his sets by now as well, but he's craving that extra step — trust in _him_ and not just his sets or abilities. "Why the sour face, Kageyama?" Tobio jumps a little at Sugawara's sudden appearance by his side and he ignores the barely suppressed laughter from the others. "Nothing," he mumbles and finishes getting changed for practice.

Sugawara stays with him, walking side by side to the gym and then even stretching next to him. Tobio tries to focus on his stretches, but he's hyper-aware of Sugawara's proximity. The space between them seems too narrow. Sugawara is completely undeterred by his usual silence and occasionally nudges him to point out someone fooling around with a laugh — usually Hinata, Tanaka-san or Nishinoya-san. Tobio doesn't know what to respond most of the time and he doesn't understand how Sugawara can continuously take his silence in such stride — especially when his biggest reactions are usually aimed at Hinata _you runt!_ — but Sugawara sticks with him.

His presence is impossible to ignore even without the nudges that send small shocks of _something_ straight to Tobio's stomach and he takes to staring holes into the back of Coach Ukai's head, urging him to start warm-ups already. A nudge, a laugh, but no pointing. "And again the sour face," Sugawara snorts and Tobio ducks his head, mumbling an apology. He can feel Sugawara's eyes on him and he counts to ten in his head, but the feeling doesn't stop. Tobio slowly faces him and is met by an expression he knows all too well — _challenge accepted_. He just doesn't remember having challenged him to anything. Sugawara nudges him again and leans closer, expression unchanged. "I'm going to earn your trust and then you'll tell me all about what's going on when you make that sour face." Coach Ukai chooses that moment to finally call for warm-ups and Sugawara hops to his feet, gone before Tobio can respond. _You already have my trust, Sugawara-san_.

Sugawara has been praising Hinata for what feels like half an eternity now, patting his head and ruffling his hair, and Tobio feels fidgety. He's _annoyed_. There's no doubt Hinata did surprisingly well in today's practice game — even though he would never tell him that to his face — but it's not like he carried the game all by himself. Everyone was important to their victory: Tanaka-san's spikes, Nishinoya-san's great receiving and his two emergency sets, Daichi-san's digs, even Tsukishima did _okay_ on blocking today, and Asahi-san scored the most points. They _all_ did their part.

Hinata's voice seems to get louder by the second and Tobio snaps. "Stop being so loud, you runt, and work on your serves!" Hinata responds immediately, trying to fling himself in his direction with insults of his own on his lips, but Daichi holds him back and Sugawara steps in front of him, blocking their view of each other. He puts his hands on his hips and cocks his head with a glint in his eyes. "I vaguely remember you serving out-of-bounds on two occasions during the game." Sugawara smirks at him and Tobio clenches his teeth, bowing his head slightly. "I'm sorry," he forces out despite being sincere about his apology. He's the first to recognise his own faults and today his serving was uncomfortably unstable.

There's a gentle pressure against his head, once, twice — _pat, pat_ — and he freezes. "Your setting was extra monstrous, though," Sugawara says softly and this time Tobio can feel his fingers slide into his hair and — _yes_ — Sugawara is _ruffling his hair_. It's over as quickly as it begun, but he waits a few breaths before lifting his head. Sugawara is already busy with someone else and Tobio slowly reaches up, smoothing his hand over his hair until his scalp stops tingling.

Tobio watches Hinata speed away on his bike, painfully aware that he's now alone with Sugawara. He doesn't mind silence, but it feels wrong to waste this opportunity, and yet, he can't think of a single thing to say. He could talk about practice, their last game, their next game, or maybe, he could ask Sugawara a question that isn't related to volleyball at all. Tobio swallows thickly and buries his nose in his scarf. He doesn't understand why talking about volleyball suddenly feels like it isn't _enough_. "Kageyama?" Sugawara's voice pulls him out his thoughts and his answering _yes_ is a little high-pitched, but luckily muffled by his scarf. "Tell me something about your family." _So,_ that's _how it works_ , Tobio makes a mental note. He pulls his scarf down, exposing his face to the cold, and breathes in the brisk air. "Um...what would you like to know, Sugawara-san?" Tobio looks at Sugawara and studies his face as he answers, "Anything." His eyes seem far-away and he doesn't even seem to notice that he's being looked at — probably intensely from what people have told Tobio about his own expressions. There's no smile on his face, teeth worrying his bottom lip, and his forehead is slightly creased. Sugawara is frowning and if he's right, it's a sad frown.

Tobio feels his own forehead wrinkling, features pulling into a frown of their own in response to Sugawara's sadness. He races through his mind to think of something funny — _make him smile, make him laugh —_ but all that comes out of his mouth is story after story about his family, stumbling through each one. It still seems to do the trick and Sugawara visibly relaxes next to him, becoming more vocal and responsive as he continues. It gets easier to talk once Sugawara chimes in with family stories of his own and it almost starts to feel natural talking likes this.

Sugawara suddenly stops when there's a lull in their conversation and Tobio realises they've already circled past this very same junction several times. He's been so tuned into Sugawara, he barely noticed where they were going. "This is me," Sugawara says — with a hint of regret, Tobio is almost eighty percent sure that's what he hears — and pats his back. His hand is high on his back, fingers almost brushing his neck, and this time, he _definitely_ lingers. "Let's do this again, Kageyama." He slides his hand up and pulls softly at the hairs on Tobio's nape before taking a step back and waving at him, leaving Tobio to deal with his suddenly warm cheeks all on his own.

Somehow they end up alone after practice _a lot_ and Tobio doesn't want to question the whys or hows when it means more time with Sugawara one-on-one. He's a quick learner — and meticulous at preparation — and even though he isn't as natural as Sugawara, he's getting less awkward about asking him questions. The more Tobio finds out about him, the more curious he becomes. It's like each new bit of information reveals endless amounts of new avenues that he just _has_ to explore — piecing together the puzzle of Sugawara piece by piece. Even the quiet moments between them start feeling less wasted because he knows there will be a _next time_.

They're back to family again today after Sugawara sees a little kid and Tobio finally feels ready to talk about his grandfather. He slowly edges his way into it and when he finally mentions him, it breaks something loose, but he can't quite meet Sugawara's eyes. It's easier that way and he carefully maneuvers through his memories towards the final one. And then, he stops — all out of words. The sudden silence is strangely loud in Tobio's ears and he wonders if the night has always been this quiet or if it's paying respect in its own way. This is unknown territory — _he_ stepped into unknown territory, _he_ made the first move for once. Sugawara doesn't say anything for a while and Tobio lets his eyes wander slowly towards his face, bracing himself for _something_.

First, he sees the snow — snowflakes falling very scarcely and yet, a few have already found their way into Sugawara's hair, glistening. Then, he notices the lack of motion — _huh, when did we stop walking_. Last, he actually looks at Sugawara. He only catches a glimpse of his face for a second before Sugawara throws his arms around him and hugs him tightly. Just as he seems to do so often when touching him, he lets go almost as quickly as he hugged him. This time, Sugawara struggles to meet his eyes and Tobio understands he's holding back tears even with his face hidden by shadows. "I'm sorry, Kageyama," Sugawara croaks out and tries to wipe at his eyes subtly. He gives up and dabs at them with his scarf, clearing his throat and meeting his eyes again. "Your grandfather sounds like a wonderful man. You..." He hesitates for a moment, swallowing thickly before continuing. "You must miss him a lot, Tobio." Tobio looks away, staring at the snow dancing underneath the light of the streetlamp, and nods.

Sugawara keeps altering between stuffing his hands deep into the pockets of his coat and bringing them to his face to blow warm air into them. Tobio curses Hinata in his head, _Stupid runt, forgetting his stupid runt gloves_. He doesn't understand why Sugawara insisted on giving Hinata his gloves when it wasn't his fault he forgot them, but he can't be angry with _him_ — this is all Hinata's fault. "Suga-san?" Sugawara turns to him, hands still cupped in front of his mouth, and cocks his head in question. He doesn't tell him off for calling him Suga-san, though, and Tobio feels reassured. He peels off his gloves and offers them to him. Sugawara waves his hands at him — pink from the icy air — and declines, "Then _your_ hands will freeze and Daichi will have my head. No, thank you." He shakes his head as if to emphasise his point and stuffs his hands back into his pockets. Tobio doesn't put his gloves back on and mirrors him, hands in pockets.

He hopes this is solidarity — something he read about in an online forum that discusses tips on how to be a better friend. Sugawara doesn't seem to agree. He sighs exasperatedly and steps in front of him. "I'm too cold to fight you. Please, put your gloves back on." Tobio shakes his head resolutely and tries to walk around Sugawara, but Sugawara moves with him, blocking his way again. He sighs again and Tobio can see his breath swirling in the air. "Let's each wear one, then. How about that?" Tobio pulls his hands out of his pockets, bringing the gloves with him, and hands one to Sugawara.

The difference in temperature between his hands is a little maddening and he clenches his hand into a tight fist inside his pocket. Clench, unclench, clench, unclench, _keep the blood flowing_ , he thinks, but it only makes his hand cold _and_ clammy. Tobio wipes his palm on the inside of his pocket before bringing it up to his mouth and breathing warm air against his fingers. It doesn't help against the uncomfortable feeling and he drops his hand to his side, hoping the cold air will somehow dry his palm. He feels stupid in no time, skin stinging from the cold, and he wiggles his fingers to make sure they're not frozen already. Tobio's hand brushes against something icy cold and he looks down, finding Sugawara's hand just an inch away from his own. He grabs his hand without thinking and brings it to his mouth, blowing his warm breath against the ice blocks his fingers have become. Sugawara suddenly starts talking, picking up where they left off last time and seemingly undeterred by Tobio's strange behaviour — _maybe not so strange, then_ , he hopes — and Tobio holds his hand the rest of the way.

The warmth of his palm, the way their fingers slot together, the pressure and weight, it’s still unfamiliar to him and since that day of sharing a pair of gloves, they've never held hands skin-on-skin again, but Tobio likes holding Suga's hand — even with the fabric of their gloves in the way of truly _connecting_. They don't talk about it. It's never a vocal agreement of _Let's hold hands_ , but it always ends up happening without a doubt. Suga squeezes his hand and Tobio glances at him. There's a pleased smile on his face and his cheeks are pink — a constant state during winter it seems. Tobio squeezes back and watches the smile broaden a little. He's been getting better at reading Suga, but he isn't always quite brave enough to act on the information his face is giving him. The squeezing game, however, he knows how to play now and he's been keeping track of his wins and losses. _Point to Suga-san_ , he adds a tally to his losses.

Five minutes pass and Suga squeezes his hand again. Tobio is off his game today, he never lets him get back-to-back points. Suga stops suddenly, another squeeze — _no point, it hasn't been five minutes since the last_ — and Tobio turns to him. His eyes are slightly widened and he exclaims, "I'm finally ahead! You're one win behind!" Suga raises their intertwined hands and pumps the air in victory. Tobio scowls at him and starts walking again, pulling him along. "I'm not letting you get another point that easily, Suga-san," he grumbles and Suga laughs, falling into step with him again. "We'll see about that, Tobio-chan," Suga singsongs, teasing him with the endearment as he's been doing a lot lately. Tobio likes the way it sounds — earnest somehow despite the teasing — but he likes it even more because Suga only ever uses it when they're alone.

They reach Suga's junction a lot faster than usual and Suga manages to get the last squeeze, making him today's winner. Tobio lets go of his hand and stuffs his hands into his pockets, scowling again — he's been having a streak, but now it's broken. Suga pats his head and coos at him, "Don't be a sore loser now, Tobio-chan." Tobio shrugs and pokes the snow at his feet with the front of his shoe. Suga laughs softly and nudges him. "You know, I don't really see it as losing and winning. It's a win for me either way..." he trails off as if he said too much and Tobio looks at him. Pink cheeks, pink nose, pink lips. The last one is a new realisation and he feels stupid for not noticing sooner — he _just_ noticed and he's already unable to _stop_ noticing. His mouth feels dry all of a sudden and he swallows thickly. "So...what's your wish?" He knows he's still staring at Suga's lips and he forces his eyes away, meeting his gaze.

The determination on Suga's face takes him by surprise and Tobio almost takes a step back. The fire in his eyes is so familiar, aimed at anyone during games, but they're not playing volleyball and he doesn't know what it means right here, right now. "I have a confession and if it changes the way you look at me, I want you to forget I ever said anything. That's my wish," Suga states with a dangerous calm and Tobio nods, feeling his hands grow clammy in his gloves at an alarming rate — the same rate his heartbeat is increasing. Suga adjusts his stance and straightens his shoulders, looking ready for attack. "I like you!" He flinches a little at the volume of his own voice and Tobio's brain stutters and slows down, unable to appreciate the comedy of his reaction. He blinks at him slowly, trying to process his words. He’s already been about ninety percent sure that Suga likes him — even if it’s hard to tell with someone who’s as friendly as him — and while it’s good to have a hundred percent certainty now, he doubts Suga would make such a big deal out of it.

Tobio wrecks his brain for more hints, going over the last couple of minutes and taking inventory of the signs in front of him. Stance: Still ready for attack. Expression: Worried. Lips: Still pink like his cheeks and nose — maybe pink _er_. He scolds himself for getting distracted again when Suga’s teeth sink into his bottom lip and his shoulders drop a little. The lightbulb goes off just like that: _Looking at his lips, thinking about how pink they are, I want to_ kiss _him, and he likes_ me _, no, wrong emphasis, he_ likes _me, which means he might want to kiss me, too_. Tobio exhales in relief and Suga flinches, deflating even more. “This doesn't change anything, Suga-san,” he reassures him. It’s not the complete truth, but he’s just referring to bad change — he’s sure they’ll figure out the details later.

This time, Suga just blinks and stares, but he pulls himself together a lot quicker and clears his throat awkwardly. “Well, maybe one thing, right?” He holds up his hand with a tight smile, half-heartedly wiggling his fingers, and Tobio takes it without hesitation. "No. That _stays_ ," he almost growls and it startles a laugh out of Suga. "Are...are you sure?" Tobio nods and squeezes his hand. He isn't used to this uncertainty from Suga. He's seen him doubt before, but not over something like this, not between _them_ — at least not for a while now. Suga still seems unconvinced and Tobio realises his mistake. He hasn’t actually said his epiphany out loud yet. “Suga-san…Koushi-san…I like you, too.” Suga gapes at him and Tobio squeezes his hand again for good measure. It seems to do the trick and he finds himself with an arm full of Suga. Koushi. It’ll take a while for him to get used to that, but if Suga-san — _Koushi_ -san — allows it, he’d like to get used to it.

They still play the squeezing game every time, but Tobio finally understands what Koushi meant when he said it feels like winning every time — he just had the wrong outlook before. Koushi strangely seems dead-set on winning today and Tobio has no qualms about letting him have the victory this time. They’re standing close, hands intertwined — skin-on-skin and sharing gloves again for no reason other than they felt like it. Koushi has to tilt his head back a little to meet his eyes and Tobio doubts he’ll ever get used to the sight. Those eyes are basically sparkling at him, punctuated by that pretty mole that sits so perfectly right there below his eye — calling out to him to touch it. He reaches out, stopping himself just in time, and Koushi laughs a little breathlessly. “You can touch me, Tobio-chan.” Tobio nods and slowly cups his face with his gloved hand, stroking his thumb over the mole. It’s not ideal with the glove in the way of getting to actually _feel_ the touch, but it’s more than enough for now.

He covers the mole with his thumb and meets Koushi’s eyes. “So…what’s your wish, Koushi-san?” Koushi frowns a little and sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, worrying it for a moment before letting it go again. Tobio groans internally, _his lips are just as distracting as his mole, maybe even_ more _distracting._ “I can’t remember anymore,” Koushi admits, “but I really wanna kiss you right now.” Tobio’s brain stutters — it seems to be doing that a lot recently — and his hand drops from Koushi’s face. The only perk of getting used to the sensation of his brain slowing down is learning how to overcome it more quickly each time, and he gathers his bearings in record time.

Tobio musters up a small nod and breathes, “I would like that.” Koushi nods back and slides his gloved hand onto the back of Tobio’s neck, making him shiver. Everything inside of him feels wound up, alert, waiting, anticipating. Koushi leans up, closing the little space between them even more, and Tobio shivers again. He leans down to meet him and closes his eyes, giving him full control. The moment before their lips touch seems to stretch — an eternity of waiting — and it only winds up his nerves even tighter. Koushi finally closes the distance and Tobio feels a soft, _soft_ pair of lips touch his. Just a touch, a press of lips, but he unwinds that very instance, euphoria spreading through him like a wildfire. Sugawara Koushi is kissing him. He is kissing Sugawara Koushi. And it’s a feeling that has no competition because it’s a win all around.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! any feedback is always appreacited <333
> 
> i'm gonna wallow some more in my kagesuga feelings now bye bye


End file.
